white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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