i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
