i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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