i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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