meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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