Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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