You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
