i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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