someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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