Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
