How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
