So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
