There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
