Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
