I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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