we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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