and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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