i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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