Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
