think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
