i will never coherently bang her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
