I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
