During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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