even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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