remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
