I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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