let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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