Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
