Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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