But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
