I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
