She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
