so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
