Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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