the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
