with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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