he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
its not stalking. its research.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
