gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
