is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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