She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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