I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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