when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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