i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
