Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
