How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
