she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
