she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
