I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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