we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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