yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
