Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
from now on my penis is your penis
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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